Adversaries into Allies, Win People Over Without Manipulation or Coercion
By Bob Burg
Date Review Posted: October 25, 2013
Authors: Bob Burg
Release Date: October 2013
Web Site: http://wwwBurg.com
Related Blog: http://www.burg.com/blog/
***** (A case could be made that I would only review the best of the best because if while reading a book it does not hold my interest, I would not finish it and therefore would not review it.)
Format: Instructional, topic, discussion, examples, tools to fix
Reason For Reading THIS book: I read Bob Burg's book Endless Referrals again and again. I was in real estate sales at the time and quickly recognized the value of Endless Referrals to the point I created a course based on the book for my agents. That was followed by his book, Winning Without Intimidation and again I created a course based on the book; both were that good. I have read everything Bob Burg has written including his wonderful book he co-authored called Gossip. Each book raised the bar on content and excellence and this book was no exception. The book may be mistaken for a book about sales and that would be a mistake. It is about building quality relationships with everyone in your life, not just customers.
Number Of Times I Have Read This Book: I have read it only one time but already know for certain that a second and maybe a third time is in the future.
Brief Summary of Content: Steven M. R. Covey, author of The Speed of Trust (another great book by the way) wrote this recommendation for Adversaries into Allies. I could not improve on this wonderful recommendation:
"Bob Burg has delivered again! In Adversaries into Allies, you'll learn how to influence and persuade others toward outcomes that create genuinely good feelings and results for everyone involved. The principles of how exactly to do that, consistently and predictably, are powerfully presented in this tremendous book. And you're about to learn them form a master."
And from the book: I believe that you can often discover the importance and applicability of a book by the Table of Contents. There are 76 Chapters in the book, 250 pages of absolutely great tools to use to build and develop your relationships. The Table of Contents follows:
SECTION ONE: The Five Principles of Ultimate Influence. Understanding the Basics of All Human Action and Interaction.
Chapter 1, The Five Principles
Chapter 2, It's (Much) More Than Just About Being Nice
Chapter 3, Persuasion Versus Manipulation
SECTION TWO: Control Your Own Emotions. This Comes Before Everything Else in the Process Every Time
Chapter 4, Responding Versus Reacting (One of my personal favorites)
Chapter 5, Effectively Handle Verbal Attacks
Chapter 6, Make Calm Your Default Setting (Another personal favorite)
Chapter 7, Overcome Anger
Chapter 8, The Persuasive Power of Positive Detachment
Chapter 9, Think Before You Speak (Another personal favorite)
Chapter 10, Agree to Disagree
Chapter 11, Consider the Source (To this one I say Amen!)
SECTION THREE: Understand the Clash of Belief Systems. Avoiding Those Deadly Misunderstandings
Chapter 12, Belief Systems-the Problem and the Solution
Chapter 13, "How Would You Define...?"
Chapter 14, Accept the Responsibility for Communication
Chapter 15, The Importance of Conscious Awareness
Chapter 16, Personal or Not? How Do You Know?
Chapter 17, Love Languages from Liberty the Cat
Chapter 18, First, Now the Issue, Then, Choose the Words
Chapter 19, The Answer? Based on What Information?
Chapter 20, Perceptual Realities Equal Different Conclusions
Chapter 21, Change Your Non-Serving Beliefs to Be More Productive
SECTION FOUR: Acknowledge Their Ego. Working Effectively Within the Ultimate Human Motivator
Chapter 22, Don't Shame or Embarrass
Chapter 22, Be a Judge, Not a Lawyer
Chapter 24, The Principle of Agreement
Chapter 25, Ego Repair
Chapter 26, The Power of Handwritten Notes (This should be required reading for the youth!)
Chapter 27, Edification-a Powerful Key to Influence
Chapter 28, Do You Look for disagreement?
Chapter 29, Compliment the Uncomplimented
Chapter 30, Caught in the Act!.....of Doing Something Right
Chapter 31, "I Appreciate Ya"
SECTION FIVE: Set the Proper Frame. Do This Correctly and You Are 80 Percent of the Way to the Win/Win Outcome You Desire
Chapter 32, Positive Expectation Works, but Not Why You Think It Does
Chapter 33, Framing Your Influence in Your First Conversation
Chapter 34, Sometimes, It's Good to Let 'Em See You Sweat
Chapter 35, The Ransburger Pivot
Chapter 36, The Value of the Correct Phrase
Chapter 37, "What Can I Do to Help?"
Chapter 38, Win by Making the Others' Case First
Chapter 39, Help Them to Live in the Solution
Chapter 40, Avoid Negative Framing
Chapter 41, Don't Fall Victim to the Either/Or
Chapter 42, Persuasion Secrets of a Ten-Year-Old
Chapter 43, Change Your Frame, Change Your Life
SECTION SIX: Communicate with Tact and Empathy. The Big Difference That Makes the Big Difference
Chapter 44, Tact-the Language of Strength
Chapter 45, The Beauty of Empathy
Chapter 46, Lead-in Phrases Pave the Way
Chapter 47, Deflection via the Parry
Chapter 48, Kind Words Regarding Your Competitors
Chapter 49, Tact Does Not Equal Compromise
Chapter 50, Give Them a Back Door
Chapter 51, How to Say No Graciously and Effectively
Chapter 52, Don't Tread on Me
Chapter 53, Turning Down an Offer, While Leaving Room for Another (great stuff)
Chapter 54, Dealing with an Interrupter
Chapter 55, The Ben Franklin Method for Winning People Over
Chapter 56, Dr. Franklin and Another Great Lesson in Communication
Chapter 57, Timing Rules!
Chapter 58, Make People Comfortable with You
Chapter 59, Collecting Money Owed You in a Winning Way (who could not benefit from this?)
Chapter 60, The Pleasure of "My Pleasure"
Chapter 61, Deliver the Right Message for Your Audience
Chapter 62, Seeking Forgiveness
Chapter 63, "Acknowledge Me!"
Chapter 64, Just Listen (another Amen on this one!)
Chapter 65, Remember to Scratch the Hogs (so simple)
Chapter 66, The Pre-Apology Approach
Chapter 67, Influencing in Style: A Reader Success Story
SECTION SEVEN: The Character of Ultimate Influencers. Even More Important Than What You Say and What You do Is Who You Are
Chapter 68, Stand Firm on Principle
Chapter 69, The Master of "Goodspeak"...and Influence
Chapter 70, Focus on Your Strengths but Don't Ignore Your Weaknesses (a different way of thinking)
Chapter 71, Ignore Problems at Your Peril
Chapter 72, Why Top Influncers Build Strong Teams
Chapter 73, Consistence-a Prime Ingredient of Trust
Chapter 74, Growing from Your Mistakes
Chapter 75, Self-Correction-When Your Replay Shows You Fumbled
Chapter 76, Want to Be an Ultimate Influencer? Say Little and Do Much
Who Should Read the Book? Everyone, especially people in sales and today's youth as this type of training is not currently being provided in our school systems.
Final Test: Would I read the book again? ABSOLUTELY! Would I give it as a gift? ABSOLUTELY!