Adversaries into Allies, Win People
Over Without Manipulation or Coercion
By Bob Burg
Date
Review Posted: October 25, 2013
Authors: Bob Burg
Release
Date: October
2013
Related
Blog: http://www.burg.com/blog/
***** (A
case could be made that I would only review the best of the best because if
while reading a book it does not hold my interest, I would not finish it and
therefore would not review it.)
Format:
Instructional, topic, discussion, examples, tools to fix
Reason
For Reading THIS book: I read Bob Burg's book Endless Referrals
again and again. I was in real estate
sales at the time and quickly recognized the value of Endless Referrals to the
point I created a course based on the book for my agents. That was followed by his book, Winning
Without Intimidation and again I created a course based on the book; both were
that good. I have read everything Bob
Burg has written including his wonderful book he co-authored called
Gossip. Each book raised the bar on
content and excellence and this book was no exception. The book may be mistaken for a book about
sales and that would be a mistake. It is
about building quality relationships with everyone in your life, not just
customers.
Number
Of Times I Have Read This Book: I have read it only one time but already know
for certain that a second and maybe a third time is in the future.
Brief
Summary of Content: Steven M. R. Covey, author of The Speed of
Trust (another great book by the way) wrote this recommendation for Adversaries
into Allies. I could not improve on this
wonderful recommendation:
"Bob Burg has delivered
again! In Adversaries into Allies,
you'll learn how to influence and persuade others toward outcomes that create
genuinely good feelings and results for everyone involved. The principles of how exactly to do that,
consistently and predictably, are powerfully presented in this tremendous
book. And you're about to learn them
form a master."
And
from the book: I
believe that you can often discover the importance and applicability of a book
by the Table of Contents. There are 76
Chapters in the book, 250 pages of absolutely great tools to use to build and
develop your relationships. The Table of
Contents follows:
SECTION ONE: The Five Principles of Ultimate Influence. Understanding the Basics of All Human Action
and Interaction.
Chapter 1, The Five Principles
Chapter 2, It's (Much) More Than
Just About Being Nice
Chapter 3, Persuasion Versus
Manipulation
SECTION TWO: Control Your Own Emotions. This Comes Before
Everything Else in the Process Every Time
Chapter 4, Responding Versus
Reacting (One of my personal favorites)
Chapter 5, Effectively Handle
Verbal Attacks
Chapter 6, Make Calm Your Default
Setting (Another personal favorite)
Chapter 7, Overcome Anger
Chapter 8, The Persuasive Power
of Positive Detachment
Chapter 9, Think Before You Speak
(Another personal favorite)
Chapter 10, Agree to Disagree
Chapter 11, Consider the Source (To this one I say Amen!)
SECTION THREE: Understand the Clash of Belief Systems. Avoiding Those Deadly Misunderstandings
Chapter 12, Belief Systems-the
Problem and the Solution
Chapter 13, "How Would You
Define...?"
Chapter 14, Accept the
Responsibility for Communication
Chapter 15, The Importance of
Conscious Awareness
Chapter 16, Personal or Not? How Do You Know?
Chapter 17, Love Languages from
Liberty the Cat
Chapter 18, First, Now the Issue,
Then, Choose the Words
Chapter 19, The Answer? Based on What Information?
Chapter 20, Perceptual Realities
Equal Different Conclusions
Chapter 21, Change Your
Non-Serving Beliefs to Be More Productive
SECTION FOUR: Acknowledge Their Ego. Working Effectively Within the Ultimate Human
Motivator
Chapter 22, Don't Shame or
Embarrass
Chapter 22, Be a Judge, Not a
Lawyer
Chapter 24, The Principle of
Agreement
Chapter 25, Ego Repair
Chapter 26, The Power of
Handwritten Notes (This should be required
reading for the youth!)
Chapter 27, Edification-a
Powerful Key to Influence
Chapter 28, Do You Look for
disagreement?
Chapter 29, Compliment the
Uncomplimented
Chapter 30, Caught in the
Act!.....of Doing Something Right
Chapter 31, "I Appreciate
Ya"
SECTION FIVE: Set the Proper Frame. Do This Correctly and You Are 80 Percent of
the Way to the Win/Win Outcome You Desire
Chapter 32, Positive Expectation
Works, but Not Why You Think It Does
Chapter 33, Framing Your
Influence in Your First Conversation
Chapter 34, Sometimes, It's Good
to Let 'Em See You Sweat
Chapter 35, The Ransburger Pivot
Chapter 36, The Value of the
Correct Phrase
Chapter 37, "What Can I Do
to Help?"
Chapter 38, Win by Making the
Others' Case First
Chapter 39, Help Them to Live in
the Solution
Chapter 40, Avoid Negative
Framing
Chapter 41, Don't Fall Victim to
the Either/Or
Chapter 42, Persuasion Secrets of
a Ten-Year-Old
Chapter 43, Change Your Frame,
Change Your Life
SECTION SIX: Communicate with Tact and Empathy. The Big Difference That Makes the Big
Difference
Chapter 44, Tact-the Language of
Strength
Chapter 45, The Beauty of Empathy
Chapter 46, Lead-in Phrases Pave
the Way
Chapter 47, Deflection via the
Parry
Chapter 48, Kind Words Regarding
Your Competitors
Chapter 49, Tact Does Not Equal
Compromise
Chapter 50, Give Them a Back Door
Chapter 51, How to Say No
Graciously and Effectively
Chapter 52, Don't Tread on Me
Chapter 53, Turning Down an
Offer, While Leaving Room for Another (great
stuff)
Chapter 54, Dealing with an
Interrupter
Chapter 55, The Ben Franklin
Method for Winning People Over
Chapter 56, Dr. Franklin and Another
Great Lesson in Communication
Chapter 57, Timing Rules!
Chapter 58, Make People
Comfortable with You
Chapter 59, Collecting Money Owed
You in a Winning Way (who could not
benefit from this?)
Chapter 60, The Pleasure of
"My Pleasure"
Chapter 61, Deliver the Right
Message for Your Audience
Chapter 62, Seeking Forgiveness
Chapter 63, "Acknowledge
Me!"
Chapter 64, Just Listen (another
Amen on this one!)
Chapter 65, Remember to Scratch
the Hogs (so simple)
Chapter 66, The Pre-Apology
Approach
Chapter 67, Influencing in
Style: A Reader Success Story
SECTION SEVEN: The Character of Ultimate Influencers. Even More Important Than What You Say and
What You do Is Who You Are
Chapter 68, Stand Firm on
Principle
Chapter 69, The Master of
"Goodspeak"...and Influence
Chapter 70, Focus on Your
Strengths but Don't Ignore Your Weaknesses
(a different way of thinking)
Chapter 71, Ignore Problems at
Your Peril
Chapter 72, Why Top Influncers
Build Strong Teams
Chapter 73, Consistence-a Prime
Ingredient of Trust
Chapter 74, Growing from Your
Mistakes
Chapter 75, Self-Correction-When
Your Replay Shows You Fumbled
Chapter 76, Want to Be an
Ultimate Influencer? Say Little and Do
Much
Who
Should Read the Book? Everyone,
especially people in sales and today's youth as this type of training is not
currently being provided in our school systems.
Final
Test: Would I read the book again? ABSOLUTELY!
Would I give it as a gift?
ABSOLUTELY!
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